kiwi_from_hell (kiwi_from_hell) wrote,


So I haven't updated this thing since May. Which means news.

Relationship: Still seeing Sam. Everything is awesome, and so simple. Obviously it's impossible to say a few months into a relationship, and six months into "seeing each other", where things will go in the future. But god, I hope they go somewhere good and this makes us both happy for a long time. I'm really content, with him and this relationship, which I always assumed would be kind of boring, but it's not. It's just...this is what I want, for certain. I know these things are subject to change, but right now, this is exactly what I want.

Mental Health: I decreased and then quit my citalopram. It's been 3 months. I still have some anti-anxiety stuff knocking around for emergencies, but aside from sleeping a bit more than I would like, coming off the meds has gone well and I don't consider myself to have depressive symptoms that reach a clinical level, for the first time since I was 14.

Uni: So, I fucked up my dissertation (basically writing it coinciding quite closely with Chris being an abusive dick and so it unfortunately got knocked off my priority list in favour of maintaining as much mental strength as I could for looking after myself). But my university was like, "What? This is a ridiculously bad grade for you! Do it again." So I'm doing it again, it will be classified in September, and my supervisor wants to try to get it published in a journal.

Work: I work in a call centre. It is balls. Utter balls. I got offered a good job in another city, but the commute would be an hour and a half, for shift work, the morning shift commute would actually be 2 hours, and the cost of the commute would knock the pay down to less than what I'm making at the moment. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to do but I'm quite scared that this job could fuck with my newly acquired mental stability, so I'm thinking of turning it down and waiting for something in Brighton. But then I feel like I'm not working hard enough at my career. So I don't know, I'm making a decision by Monday. Right now, I feel like it isn't worth the risk to my mental health, but I'm going to talk it over with friends and family.

Cool stuff: I'm visiting my family the week after next and it's going to be awesome. I haven't gone home since Easter, though my parents have visited me in Brighton. Going home means seeing my brother and my grandparents, and the dogs. Also Sam is coming to do a meet the family thing, and it will be hilarious because he's afraid of dogs. My dogs aren't great for people who are afraid of dogs, as they're rescues that my brother picks up when they can't be rehomed due to biting (he's a behaviourist so he can take them, but most rescues would put them down otherwise). Most of them don't bite any more, ever, but Sam has seen my scars from looking after dogs when they were settling in.

Watched Cowboy Bebop. One of the best shows I have ever seen.

Completed Borderlands 1. The ending was pure balls but the game in general was excellent and 2 is on pre-order. (BTW if annyone's been reading the fucking ridiculous stuff about the "girlfriend build" in 2, I would like to say to the Borderlands designers, do you realise how easy your game is? It's not exactly a twitch shooter, every single build is a "good for people who can't game" build, and if you think it's not, you need the "girlfriend build", not the women who play your game.)

Hope everyone's well. I still read my flist every day.

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