kiwi_from_hell (kiwi_from_hell) wrote,

I just never update this bastard thing...

So! It is a slow shift at work, so I am going to ramble a bit here, for the first time since May, apparently.

Let's break it down into categories.

1. Work. I cannot say enough, ever, about how much I love my job. Even though my shift today is a bit dull, and my shift yesterday was unbelievably busy and high stress. Confidentiality means I can't disclose too much about work, but I call the police about once a week, ambulance two-three times a week, talk to suicidal people almost daily and essentially know a hell of a lot more about heroin than I did a year ago. It can be very emotionally draining, partly for me because of how social it is, but mostly because I build relationships with my clients and work with them on so many different parts of their life, that when things don't go well for them I really feel it. Not to mention, most of our clients are genuinely nice people and it can be hard to see the constant failings of the system that have and continue to let them down.

But I love it. Little victories are incredible. I truly believe everyone in my organisation works really hard, and is really dedicated to doing what is best for our clients, and it's a great environment to be in. It has changed me, in a way that I really like - I'm a lot more hopeful about people, and a lot more able to see the positives in people. Also, less seriously, it feels pretty badass sometimes to run up the stairs on the phone to the police about something major and knowing that I'm going to be the first person on scene and actually being able to handle it.

2. Relationship. Sam and I now live together, just us, in a little flat near the sea. Our flat has posters and fairy lights everywhere and stupid framed pictures of random animals because somehow that's hilarious to me. Not pets. Just...vaguely blurry internet pictures of animals. Like the Ikea Monkey, and that dog in a Xenomorph costume. Living just us is great. We are still sickeningly in love. He is still awesome. Basically, yay! I could go on, but I will not.

3. Mental Health. Fluoxetine seems to help me out. I've made work aware of my mental health issues and they've handled it brilliantly, basically saying "Ok, I get the impression you don't want to talk about this, so I'm not going to quiz you. Just let us know if you ever need anything. Cheers." Which is exactly what I wanted. It doesn't effect my work too much anyway, the last time I needed time off because of it was when I switched to fluoxetine. I need to do something about anxiety before I go to sleep though, because I panic, and it needs to stop. Very unpleasant.

4. Media. I've just started watching Breaking Bad with Sam and I'm surprised by how much I like it. I thought it sounded like one of those needlessly gritty things about how everyone in the world is an asshole, but it's actually not, and is really good. Plus, like everyone on the internet, I've been listening to Welcome to Night Vale, and strongly encourage anyone who hasn't done so yet to get into, because it's awesome. Look that up, guys, for real.

5. General. Had a house-warming last weekend, which was awesome fun. I am very grateful for the friends I have, we've got a really good dynamic together and have lots of fun. Plus I'm actually starting to hang out with work people outside of work, which is a big step for me socially. I think now that it's getting to be my own perception of myself as awkward which holds me back more than my awkwardness. People don't really care about awkward that much, people care about nice. Plus, regularly going to the gym (but only on my work lunch breaks, so never for a full hour, which I should change - but the gym is right next door to work, so that's the perfect time). Cooking well, vegetarian 80% of the time and rising. Visiting my parents soon, and it's been a while so that'll be nice.

6. HOLIDAY. I forgot that I've been not LJ-ing for so long that I didn't mention this. Sam & I went interrailing in July for a couple of weeks and it was amazing. So, we flew into Munich, stayed there one night, went to Graz, stayed there one night - we were going to stay longer for a music festival, but essentially the festival was not our scene, so after one night we were like "Shall we just get on the next train going south?". That train took us to Maribor, in Slovenia, where I utterly fell in love. It's the nicest place I have ever been, I loved it. A beautiful little city, with a river running through the centre, a weird mix of architecture and mountains surrounding it on all sides. Breath-takingly gorgeous. So we stayed there for a while. Lots of walking, lots of cafe-crawling, lots of sitting by the river drinking wine (the cap of one of the bottle is now on a necklace I'm wearing, as it was essentially one of the best moments of my life). Just...the best place I have ever been. I'll stick a picture at the end of the post (though it won't be one I took, because I'm at work).

Then, a day in Ljubljana, which was nice but could not live up to Maribor, so we then went to stay at Bled, which I will post another picture of. It's a town on a lake, and on one side of the lake there is a castle on top of a massive cliff, and in the middle of the lake is a small island with a church on it. Another beautiful place. More walking. More wine. And then, after a couple of days there, a very, very long journey to Zadar in Croatia, which I wish we had left ourselves more time for because it was great and so very pretty. It had such a nice atmosphere. We're going to do the interrailing thing again next year because it was so awesome, and I think we're going to start in Zadar this time and then hit Bosnia, Macadonia, maybe Ukraine, because we ran out of time to do everything we wanted really quickly. Incredible fun, though, all of it. The planning as we went vibe was really cool, as was the feeling of being on a train to somewhere and having no idea what that somewhere would actually be like. Definitely an experience I would recommend.

7. I don't think I have a point 7. I hope everyone is ok. I should probably, potentially, actually do some work now. It's just so quiet in the hostel tonight. I guess everyone got it out of their system yesterday.


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